(It's hard for me to share things right now so please respect that this is my blog and I would appreciate all of you refraining from advice. If you can relate to the struggle, great! But please reserve your counseling for another place. I have friends walking me through but I still wanted to share what God is doing in my life. This is why I often turn the comments off because some of the things posted in the comments should only be said by those I am in covenant with. I realize it's a blog and I put it out there for the world to see but I still believe that some commenters out there need boundaries and don't tend to think before posting a comment. When in doubt, don't comment.)
I went for a run yesterday afternoon, a much needed one. Right now I am in the midst of a pretty big storm. So I used the time to talk to God and run out all of my frustrations and hurt. I had completely forgotten about a song I had downloaded to my iPod last year after finally seeing the moving Facing The Giants. For some reason I really found myself identifying with the coach in the movie. One of my biggest struggles is self condemnation and feeling like a failure.
My past will take a lifetime to get over. It seems that my past is not one of those things that God has chosen to deliver me from instantly. Instead it appears that I will be healing from it the rest of my life. Isn't that how it usually is? Right now the spirit is trying to convince my flesh that my pain as a child is my treasure. It's my pearl, my gift, my thorn that keeps me close to Jesus and allows me to minister to others who are hurting. I don't think this pain will ever go away but I do pray that I can learn how to manage it and use it for His glory instead of it trying to destroy my life. Those old tapes have been playing in my head and running last night was one of those times where every step I ran, I prayed that God would clear my mind and allow me to hear his voice and not the voices from my past or the self condemning voice I have. That's when the song by Josh Bates, from Facing The Giants movie, came on my iPod. And that's when I couldn't help but run and cry at the same time. I am so thankful that my Lord has never given up on me and never will.
Soundtrack: Facing The Giants
Title: Never Give Up (Josh Bates)
Time after time you’ve been left behind
like the sun when it’s starting to rain
Time after time you’ve been forgotten
like a picture that’s faded with age
Time after time you ran after me
when I was still running away
Chorus:
You never give up on me
No, You never give up on me
Though I’m weak you are strong
You told me I still belong
No, you never, never give up on me
Time after time I’ve used your grace
as a way to do what I please
I’ve taken for granted prayers that you answered
never been all I could be
You are holding out your hands
and now I clearly see
Chorus
You always erase all my mistakes
You lift me up when I'm down
Through all the ages, Your love never changes
You welcome me just as I am
Chorus
never give up, never give up on me...
9 comments:
You will manage this storm just like all the others! I know GOD is walking with you!!
I love you:(!!
Love you, Friend!!
Thinking of you...prayers your way.
That is how running is for me, a clearing of my mind, and for that I am so thankful. I will pray for you! I often have that feeling of self condemnation, I am much harder on myself than most others are and Satan totally uses that as a foothole in my life!
Oh, and we just got that movie on Netflix, I will have to watch it!!!
I also have a past that I still haven't fully healed from. Many times I wonder who I would be without it. What part of me is just me and what part is the damaged me. I can understand your struggles. I also have a wonderful life now, and I truly love God, yet I still struggle. God has brought me so far. Joyce Meyer talks about how God changes us inch by inch. It's a lifetime process, and there is no shame in that. I can say that it keeps me running to God.
Thanks for all of your honesty. You are such a blessing.
Julie
Love you girl. I will lift you up in prayer tonight. Running, crying, and praying (all at the same time) is so incredibly therapeutic!! LOTS of hugs to you!
Praying for you... you're an inspiration to me!!!
Loving you and praying for you....
Hi there,
I wanted to let you know that creators of Facing the Giants have just finished a new film that will be out in theaters this fall called, Fireproof.
Visit www.fireproofthemovie.com to see a teaser site. We'll have a full site up in a few weeks.
If you would like future updates to this movie (if you liked Facing the Giants, you'll love this movie) I would be happy to add you to our list.
I am part of the PR team promoting the film.
Thank you,
Monique
Post a Comment