*Yes, I turned the comments off. Sometimes you just need to let it out and not have a lot of feedback or advice. You kow? :) Thanks for reading my personal journal entry. I know I must be crazy to share it with the world!
Have you ever heard of the runner's wall? While I have yet to experience this in running, I am experiencing it in my life as a wife, mother, friend and minister. I'm not sure what God is trying to show me but He's for sure trying to show me something. It seems I have hit the wall and erupted a volcano on the other side of it.
I'm not stepping down or away from anything, I just need some clarity on things. If I could, I would be leaving town right now for time alone with my husband and my thoughts. Since I can't do that, I'm going to use every moment alone to return to my first love. Christ.
My job at home is a dream come true, my new journey as a homeschooler is thrilling and being a worship leader and worship coordinator for my church is amazing. As a wife, well I could grow a lot more. As a friend, I am confused because I don't feel like I give enough to those I love. As a daughter, I am still longing for that approval from my parents and as an athlete, I am pushing myself further than I ever thought was possible. All of it together is causing a volcanic explosion of emotion. Crying is my release. It seems to cool the burning ashes I feel falling around me.
My family, ministry and hobbies are great and all worthy of celebration but they also need to be sanctified. These next few days, I am pressing in and trying to find ways I can reconnect with my Lord and Savior. I need to return to my first love.
In Revelation chapter 2, the church of Ephesus was told to return to their first love. This is what I keep hearing the Holy Spirit telling me.
Thank you for your prayers.
