look for Him

We took our first family vacation back in April. The kids wanted to go to the beach and since they had never been, the thought of playing in the sand absolutely thrilled them. Weeks leading up to the vacation, Josiah encouraged me during every grocery trip to buy shovels and buckets. Anything he saw that might possibly be used in digging and building objects in the sand, he had to have!

The day finally arrived and we left for South Padres Island. Instead of driving straight to our destination, we left a day early and stayed a night in Corpus Christi. I figured this would make the trip in the car with three kids a little easier and it did. Before checking into the hotel once we arrived in Corpus Christi, Josiah demanded we drive straight to the beach. Just seeing my children's faces as they looked out into the ocean and saw the waves crashing was one I will never forget. All three of them were totally and completely taken in by the sights and sound of the sea. The sand was icing on the cake. It was all much more exciting to their senses then they had expected. Shoes came off and toes began to dance in the soft, cool sand below their feet. Later that night, baths were a necessity as we found sand in the ears, toes, clothes and ever their hair. Just a little bit of time playing in the sand left a mound in the bathtub at our hotel.



Finally we arrive to our final destination, South Padre Island. Our hotel was right on the beach and we could walk to the beach within a couple of minutes. The kids could not be happier. As Moms you know the work put into taking three small children to the beach. Even though the hotel room was close, it was an inconvenience to go back and get forgotten items so we made sure we took everything with us. Towels, diapers, food, drinks, shovels, buckets, sunscreen or whatever else we needed! It felt like we were packing an overnight bag just for a few hours on the beach. Each night bath time proved how much my three children adored the sand.

Three days of this and it was time to head back to Central Texas so I began to pack up our things to be loaded back into the SUV. The gathering and packing of our things caused me to notice grains of sand everywhere. Even the things I thought were clean had sand in them. Grains of sand in suitcases, the ice chest, the diaper bag, the sunscreen. Sand was in our ears! As Jeremy began loading the suitcases and as I loaded the three kids into the car seats, I noticed sand in the seats, sand on the floor mats. Sand had invaded. :)

At last with exhausted kids and exhausted parents, we arrive home. It's my most dreaded moment of vacation. The end. For the return is filled with so much work to be done. Unpacking, laundry, laundry, laundry, no groceries in the house and more laundry. Finally when I got the nerve to begin tackling the mounds, I had to sweep the laundry room floor of sand. I thought we left the sand in South Padre Island but it found it's way into our lives and returned to Austin with us. For weeks we talked about the sand. One can't visit the beach without later finding sand in your pockets, sand in your socks or sand underneath your fingernails. Maybe you find a granule in your teeth.

Last weekend we went to Austin to eat at a place where I knew the stroller would be needed. There would be lots of standing, waiting and walking to and from. I chose the umbrella stroller because it's light and easy to get around. Apparently I had not used it until that day since our vacation. As Jeremy pulls it out and gets ready to put Ezekiel in, he notices sand. "Look at this Babe. There is sand in this stroller. We have not used this since our vacation back in April." We chuckled for a moment and reminisced about the sand. It's kind of crazy that even now we are finding remnants of sand in our things.

When I think about my walk with Christ, I think about my encounters with Him. He has been there when I have hurt, when I have been filled with joy, when I have been sick, when I have been mad. He's never missed anything in my life. I accepted Him when I was five years old and was radically transformed by His love. Even when things in my life seemed hopeless, I never lost hope. I've never quit pursuing Him and I've always looked for Him in everything I do. I feel like even as a little girl, He was setting me apart. He was calling me to something much bigger than I ever dreamed. I've drank Him in so deep in my life that I find Him in places not everyone would look. I find Him in my pain. I find Him in my joy. I find Him while I'm running. I find Him in conversations with friends. I find Him in my past. I find Him in my thoughts. I find Him in my anger. I find Him in those places no one knows about. And I never quit looking for Him.

Someone asked me not too long ago, "What has given you this passion? Why do you write about the things you do and say the things you do with such boldness?" It's funny because I don't think I am doing anything that radical or bold. I just look for Him and I always find Him. Just as the sand finds crevices in things to settle, whether it's between our toes or inside our ears, Christ is looking to settle in our life the same way. He wants us to encounter Him in a way where we will find Him in everything we do. He wants us to drink up so much of Him that we can't help but to get Him all over us. He wants all the cracks and crevices of our lives to be totally and completely infiltrated by Him.

It was obvious my family had been to the beach when we returned from vacation. There was proof in our suitcases, on our bodies, in our shoes and in our SUV. What proof is in you that Christ has taken up residence in your life. If He has, you won't ever be the same. It's not possible. You can't help but to be radically and totally transformed by Him. Once you encounter Him, you will find Him in everything you do.

Jeremy pulling out that old umbrella stroller the other day, reminded me of the the old things I have tucked away, forgotten about or haven't thought about for a while. If I pull those things out, I will find Him there. It may be a hurt needing forgiveness. It maybe a friend who has come and gone. It may be a painful past or something causing shame. Are you hurting from divorce? Are you shameful of being molested as a child? Have you truly been set free of the pain you feel from abortion? Have you had an affair on your husband or wife? What and who is holding you captive? Whatever it is, whatever you may find, look for Him. Jesus will be there. Even if you did not know Him then, He was still there. He will never quit pursuing you. He will never quit desiring you. He is right there. Reach out and grab hold of His love. You will never be the same. And when you do, you will find Him in every crack and crevice of your life. Drink Him in. Allow Him to consume you! He loves you.


Jeremiah 29:13 (The Message)
13 "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed."