Forgiving a person for something they did to you is a very difficult thing to do. Betrayal, an affair by a spouse, lies told about you, molestation, abuse, and so many things can be done to a person and the thought of forgiving the offender is often sickening. I know for me I feel like forgiving someone lets them off the hook. But really, it lets me off the hook and allows God to do an amazing work in your life.
After reading The Shack I thought of a few people in my life that I needed to forgive. A few from my past and a few from the present. The thought of forgiving those individuals made me sick to my stomach. Shouldn't they be the ones asking for MY forgiveness? My flesh begged me not to forgive but in my heart I knew it was time. The people I need to forgive are not ones I feel I need to call and make an appointment with. Instead it's something that needs to be done in my heart and confessed before God. I read something in The Shack that I really want to share because it freed me up to forgive. There are people I need to forgive but I do not wish to have a relationship with. Now God may see differently and He can show me that but until I forgive, there is really no room for Him to move. I am bound.
Read this.
"forgiveness does not create relationship. Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible. When you forgive someone you certainly release them from judgement, but without true change, no relationship can be established."
Did you get that? Forgiveness does not mean we pretend that nothing ever happened. Forgiveness does not require us to trust the one we forgave. But if that person did decide to confess and repent then you would have a bridge to build on.
I love that! It has had me really, really thinking. It's never wrong to forgive. NEVER. If you don't want a relationship, that's okay too. I think reading this makes me feel like forgiveness is easier to do. There are definite individuals in my life who have burned a bridge with me. Friends and family members both. And because I know I am not perfect, I have burned bridges myself. But, who have I not released? Who am I holding captive?
Just some stuff I am chewing on!
(READ THE SHACK!!! And I have given away enough info here on this blog so don't leave any comments telling anything about the book! :) If you have read it, you know how life changing it is!)
8 comments:
I read The Shack a few months back, I loved it , and have been buying copies for everyone! It is truly a Life Changing book! It made me look at so many things differently.
I once was told that forgiving like God does, does not mean that we forget it happened, it just no longer influences our actions. That was so enlightening to me!
I had been wondering about this book. Now, it's a definite addition to my Christmas list.
Thank you so much my Friend!!!
Amanda,
I've been told by SO many people to read The Shack. I'm just starting The New Eve, so I'll start it after.
Loved it, too! I found myself highlighting and underlining almost entire pages of quotes I wanted to remember.
I loved that part too. I think it really changed the way I look at forgiveness.
You have no idea the timing of this post when I read it the other day..I had literally walked in the door from talking to someone about a painful situation over A YEAR AGO (can we say built up bitterness!) The hurtful situation was caused by this certain person and it was the first time I could talk to her with full love and forgiveness...God had been working on me for weeks to talk to her. Soooo, thanks for this post and once again, the timing is perfect...it's GOD awesome like that?? : ) p.s. I have bought so many copies of the Shack this year for gifts! LOVE IT!
I will have to look this one up! Thank you for these words of wisdom! Blessings!
Renee
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