Half Marathon-Part II

We hung out inside the American Airlines Center and that rocked because the bathrooms are really, really nice. Of course the line was insane but more insane for the men than the women (do you know why?). :) Let's just put it this way. NO line for the urinals, only the stalls. :) I think I went to pee about five times. I wanted to make sure I was totally emptied out!

It was time to line up so we headed outside to Victory Park at American Airlines Center. It was amazing! They have huge video screens and they are showing live coverage. The event was on a local channel live and my in laws actually have us tivoed! It was cool to watch afterwards.

As we walked to the shoot, all the runners were lining up in their corral. We were Coral B. Everyone was together. Marathon, Half Marathon and Relay. Everyone and I do mean everyone was going on and on and on about the wind. The talk of the wind was making me sick to my stomach. I start hearing one of the "Clif Team" Pace Setters yelling out, "Runners, this wind is really bad and you need to re think your goal time if you will allow yourself to." So true! Most runners will not budge on their goal time. In fact when I heard them say that I think I said to Kelly Ann, "I'm not changing mine!" Then about mile five I decided I would change it. I realized the conditions were slowing me down. My mind was up and down. One minute I was like, "Don't let the wind be your excuse." The next minute I was saying, "You are not a failure if you don't meet that time. You will beat your time you run on your long runs so be happy with that."

We then got to a "turnaround" where I saw Jeremy and I knew he was about three minutes in front of me and then I saw the "Clif"pace team when I hit the turnaround and the pace team was about three minutes behind me and they were a 2:10 team so I was feeling good. Once I saw that I was a few minutes in front of the 2:10 team, I got excited. Right then and there I said to myself, "Do not let yourself see that team again during this race. YOU WILL BEAT 2:10! GO for 2:09!" I actually told myself the exact time I wanted to get!! With the Garmin I knew what I needed to be at. So I stayed in the 9's the whole time. Sometimes I was at a 9:00, sometimes I was in the 8's for a few seconds and then I would get water (congested water stops) and hit 9:58! It all evened out in the end.

The hills were obvious to me because I have not trained on hills much. They were rolling hills in the beautiful Dallas neighborhoods and jam packed with supporters! Mile 6 I saw my babies and my parents in their shirts that read "Team ____"(last name protected) and that really made me happy! It got hot fast! People were throwing up, staggering, stopping and struggling. I kept hearing the aid stations scream out "DRINK WATER AT EVERY STOP RUNNERS. IT'S TOO WARM TO GO WITHOUT WATER!". Now most of you would think that 74 degrees is not that hot or even 70 degrees but for a runner it can be very hot. The marathoners really struggled with the temps. I can't remember if I already shared this but Jeremy had to stop for almost a minute while an ambulance made it's way on Katy Trail to get someone who had passed out. Then we found out that a 29 year old marathon runner from Austin, died at mile 21. We still don't know why but it was scary. This is why you don't do marathons in Texas unless it's cold! Her death could have been related to something else, not running. Regardless, it was scary.

I can't tell you what was on my iPod. I now believe I could totally run a race without an iPod. I pushed pause constantly so I could listen to other runners and listen to the crowd. All of our bibs had our names on them so strangers were screaming, "Good job Amanda! You look strong!" Hearing stuff like that is the most amazing thing to experience. Just thinking about it gives me chill bumps. I wish I could explain what all my mind was doing. I can tell you that running in the 9's the entire race was hard. One thing that made it hard was the people. In a 5k or a 10k, it's pretty easy to get out of the crowd and focus on your pace but I was constantly trying to get by people and not just the first 5 miles but the entire 13.1. The last mile I did an all out sprint and I probably hit at least fifty shoulders. It was insane!! The water stops were so difficult to time with my gel packs. The last gel pack I did and did it too soon because the water stop was not for another mile and I choked on the gel. I was panicking because my throat burned so bad. I almost asked a stranger on the side of the road for his water bottle. The other thing that made it hard was my mind. I would look down at my Garmin and think to myself, "What are you trying to prove? What is the difference is being fast and finishing this race? Why don't you just slow down and enjoy this? Stop focusing on time. This is not WHY you run!" I didn't listen to those thoughts. I pushed myself. Yes that is a part of running but now, a few days later, I know God was trying to teach me something. I really feel like those thoughts were HIS thoughts.

After the last gel pack, it was time to finish. I will share the finish tomorrow.

A few months ago running was fun. It was a huge outlet for me. Then I got distracted by a few things and took on the running mindset of other people. Friends who were runners, things I read in Runner's World and a few other things. I became obsessed with running 9 minute miles or even 8 minute miles if it was a night of speedwork. Thankfully my body handled it fine and I never suffered injuries but I lost focus. I lost my reason of WHY I run. My mind got lost and so did my heart.

I guess you could say I would rather do my running "all natural". Yes, you need to realize your body needs to be fueled properly. You do need to experiment with gels, gu, or jelly beans to replenish while you do a long run. Some say you must have a heart rate monitor. Some say you should go to bed early the night before a long run and so on. Runner's World Magazine is full of tips and tricks. All of those things work great for runners! But when I start worrying about all the details, running is no longer fun. My personality does not handle all of those rules very well at all. And the Garmin? Well honestly, I think it really jacked me up. If it only told me my mileage, perfect. But since it tells me my pace, I became obsessed. I no longer was hitting the road to run and unplug from life. I was running to do it fast and be done.

I am a wife, a mother, a homeschooler, a friend and even without running, I am fulfilled. So why push myself to be fast? I've had to really think hard about this. The speed comes naturally the longer you run. You naturally become faster and that has definitely happened for me. It has been a natural progression but I have also become way too hard on myself. I love to run. I loved it when I was a single and didn't have the responsibilities I have today. I want to get back to loving it instead of doing it.

I'm excited about doing a marathon for this very reason. There is NO WAY I can run like I did on the half for a full. I cannot maintain that for 26.2 miles. I will run the marathon to complete it. And I will be satisfied with completion. I don't care about qualifying for a Boston marathon. I just care about finishing. Isn't that what life is about? It's about the journey. It's about the people. It's about enjoying the race and talking to those running beside you, NOT passing them by. (Right Wendy?) :)

That's what I have walked away with. Yes, I am glad I set a goal and met it. I may change my mind and decide to run the next one and set a personal record. But I want to glorify God in everything I do and this was an area that I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me on. I found myself feeling like a wimp standing next to the full marathoners. I looked at my 13.1 coffee cup yesterday and thought, "Who cares! 13.1 is nothing!" I knew that was my stinking flesh talking. Jeremy said, "Babe, do you realize what you have just done? You did what most people can't do. You need to be proud of yourself." Instead I have been thinking about the next race.

I'm sure all of these feelings are normal but I am excited about my future in running. I love this sport!!! But I need to change my focus. This doesn't mean I will quit running fast but my motivation needs to be sanctified. I really need God to purify this love I have for running and make it 100% PURE and ALL about HIM. Otherwise, it's a total waste of time.