day 3

I sat in my kitchen yesterday with someone I really admire in many areas of her life. She inspires me in many ways but one area in particular is her marriage. Her and her husband have a pretty amazing relationship across the board. As we began to chat about life she started telling me about this funny fight she had with her husband. Knowing her, she was fighting, he was just letting her go off. MUCH like my marriage! :) She's pregnant with their third and her orderly, totally scheduled and programmed days have become days where she actually NAPS! She is feeling a little out of control so, in these moments she unloads on her husband. Most of us wives do! Listening to her tell the story of how she was mad and how he reacted made me laugh because she had no idea how much she freed me up. We all, even those of us with great marriages, have hard days. We could all use a tune up. We could all learn to not complain so much or vomit all over our spouses with vent sessions.

There is not one marriage out there that is perfect. No one I know is keeping the house perfectly clean, taking care of perfect kids, getting the perfect kids in bed every single night right on time after a perfectly cooked meal only to have mad, passionate sex with their perfect spouse only to fall asleep naked in each other's arms. Too graphic for you? Well, let's get real! Life is hard. Marriage is hard! It takes work! And with three little kids running around my house, spontaneity is a difficult thing to achieve!

Why do so many of us pretend we have it all together? Why? I know people, like the couple I mentioned in the first paragraph, who are getting it right on so many levels. But even those getting it right have to work. The thing I know about this couple is that they say yes to each other a lot. They give to each other. They out do each other! They speak so highly of each other. But they have stuff they don't agree on.

I truly believe the reason people do not experience change in their life is they are not self aware or are afraid to look into their life and admit where they struggle. By no means am I saying that it is impossible to have a great marriage. It is totally possible!! And just because you struggle does not mean you don't have a great marriage! If you have been divorced, you KNOW marriage is hard or you would not be divorced. If marriage is so easy, why is the divorce rate so high?

Mine needs an overhaul. There are things we trip up on all the time. My best friend Kelly Ann knows the DETAILS of our struggles. But she also knows how much I love Jeremy and how much he loves me and what a great couple we are. I cannot let myself fall into that trap of not wanting others to know we struggle. I want God to use me to give others hope. I want to be an inspiration some how. So if me sharing how Jeremy and I are experiencing an "off road" season, then let me get out the dirty laundry for you to see!

We are starting from scratch. We are working on communication. We are working on our physical relationship. We are working on having fun. We are working on falling in love all over again. And we are not going to stop!!! Someday I pray that God can use us to show others that God can bring healing to ALL marriages, no matter what has happened. But you have to work the process! You have to WORK to stay married sometimes. And if you don't, then I guarantee you that YOU are working through something else.

Some of you are praying for a sick spouse. Some of you are praying to get pregnant or to get over a disease. Some of you are praying for a job. Some of you want to lose fifty pounds! All of us have something we are clinging to our Savior for. I'm clinging for my marriage! I want change! I want a marriage makeover and I can't wait to talk about how God does it!!

DAY 3
Synopsis: It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, "I was thinking of you today."

Philippians 2
1-4 If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.