His training season

By nature, I'm a quitter. The urge to quit what I've started runs deep through my veins. For someone who is such a fighter, you would think my first instinct would be to fight. Unfortunately FLIGHT is the verb I choose when things get tough. It makes it difficult for those closest to me because if I really do feel God leading me to step away from something, not everyone knows if it's truly something led by the spirit or led by my own doing. Right now God has me on a path that is all about stepping IN instead of AWAY.

Running was something God gave me that truly taught me how to fight those urges. Quitting is not an option. Just because pain comes with it, it's no excuse to quit. In fact, the pain motivates you even more to finish strong. Running involves much more of your mind than your body. I've told my best friend this many times when she began running. "Your mind will always want to quit way before your body does. Training the mind is way more painful than shin splints or runner's knee. The mind is your worst enemy until your force your butt to get up and run no matter what." All of those miles I have run has taught me so much about myself. First I had no idea that I could be so strong. Second I had no idea I had the capability of being disciplined. Last but not least I had no idea how much my mind contributes to every single thing I do and how much the enemy tries to feed it constant lies. It is his playground.

When it comes to marathon running, I'm in the off season. I'm in between as I wait for June to arrive so I can begin my training for the Chicago Marathon. For those of you sick of hearing about my marathon experience or running in general, well I don't think I will ever quit talking about it! I have never experienced anything so accurate in painting a picture of the ups and downs in every day life. The symbolism is unbelievable. It's changed my life and that is why I just can't get enough of it. It has made me clean in so many ways. But even though I am in the off season for marathon running, it appears I am "in season" for super natural/spiritual growth. At times it is just as tiring and just as exciting. It gives me a rush, a high, much like a long run! When I am logging a 30-40 mile week, my appetite is that of a horse or a 250 pound man. I am starving pretty much all day long because my body is burning so many calories. Now as I experience the "in season" of some pretty major spiritual growth, I am STARVING for His word. I need to be fed often. He is transforming me so quickly that I feasting daily on His word. There is a stronghold He has revealed to me and it's taking rigorous training to have victory over it. But I trust my training plan, I trust my trainer and I'm gonna keep training so I can run the race and finish strong!

One of the things I am working on right now in the off season of marathon running is speed. I am working on getting faster. I'm also working on my core muscles so I can prevent injuries. A strong core is key for a runner and I never worked on it for the last marathon so for Chicago I am focused on my core. Speed work, tempo runs, weight lifting, cross training can all help with a better marathon time. As I thought about that yesterday, the Holy Spirit began to speak. "Just as speed work and weight training can make you a faster and stronger runner, being steadfast and loyal to the things in front of you can and will aid in beating this!" It's not important for me to share what "THIS" is. What is important is I am finally staring at it face to face and feel like I have made some steps to be able to DESTROY this stronghold. I'm equipped for the first time in my life. I truly believe that! Taking medicine for anxiety has also helped get me to that place. I should be on a bill board advertising this particular medicine I take because it has changed me. It has allowed me to see things differently and still be the gregarious girl God created me to be.

Yesterday morning I sat on my couch at 6am crying my eyes out before the Lord. It wasn't so much that I was sad, it's the fact I was willing. I could feel something new taking place in my spirit. Sitting there in prayer, I began to ask God for confirmation for something very specific. "Father, could you pour some love on me today? Could you show me that I'm surrounded by people who will cheer me on as I run this race?" I also asked Him, "Does anyone notice the change? Does anyone notice the peace you have given me and how there is something new taking place in me for the very first time?" It's kind of like when you've been working out and wonder if anyone has noticed. When someone says "Hey, have you been working out?" You feel like your hard work is actually paying off. Sometimes we all need confirmation in times like this.

My friend Monica texted me early yesterday morning and said "Go look outside your front door." When I opened the door there was a card with my name, my favorite sour candy and a diet coke AND flowers! She later told me she had woken up with my name on her heart and that it was all God. I just about fell over! WOW! Isn't it so cool when God does something like that? Then last night right before I went to Bible Study, I got an email from my blogging friend Rebecca. We have never had a conversation about what I was struggling with and rarely exchange emails so this was of God. Everything she said was exactly what I needed to hear. She then attached some scriptures that were TOTAL confirmation of what God had showed me He was doing in my life. Again, I was dumbfounded! Once I got to Bible Study, my friend Ashley, comes walking in the door with ten SMART Waters from Target and refused to let me give her money. She wanted to bless me! (SMART Water is something I drink constantly and just about everyone knows it) I'm grateful for these women who were able to be led by the spirit and minister to me in my time of need. I love how our Father in Heaven will meet us right where we are at to prove to us He's actively working. So often I forget to pray for confirmation or pray asking God to bless me. I must do this more! Yesterday was FULL of his blessing.

I'm thankful for the love I feel during this season of hard core training. It's worth destroying this stronghold. Satan will be defeated. The Bible says so!

(Here are the scriptures Rebecca sent. The translation says exactly EVERYTHING God was showing me.)

Galations 5
22-23But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

23-24Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified.

25-26Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.