Sometimes...

I just need to write. But I am not sure what to write about. I have writer's block really bad right now. Today has been a really hard day for a few reasons. Parenting is sometimes exhausting. It's the most incredible gift ever but it is also a gift that takes a lot of work. There are times when I feel like I'm doing a great job with my three kids and other times I feel like I have no idea what I am doing. Totally normal to feel both but I don't enjoy the inconsistency of it. So many Moms out there are afraid to talk about parenting because other Moms are quick to pounce on them and tell them what they are doing wrong. I know for me I don't talk a lot about parenting on my blog because it's an area I feel is off limits for blog readers. I see too many blogs out there criticising other moms and their way of parenting that I'm a little scared. One thing I do know and I am not afraid to share is that all three of my children are completely different and have their own personality that makes them each so incredibly unique! They are my life!

Josiah is my deep thinker. He is a problem solver. He loves the guitar. He loves to learn. He is shy unless you talk about something he feels he can contribute to. Mention Star Wars and he will talk your ear off! He wants to be a professional golfer but could care less about any other sport. He loves to be by himself and could do so for hours at a time. He is a warrior. He has a very tender heart and knows how to care for people. He is incredibly smart! He is easy going and is pleased by simple things. He is also the pickiest eater I've ever known. He's cautious. He is not a dare devil and could care less about riding a bike without training wheels. He doesn't care how many of his kindergarten friends can ride without training wheels, he is NOT interested. He does not enjoy crowds of people and He will never be the kid trying to talk you into doing something crazy because he follows the rules. He is a home body. He is organized. He is helpful! He is fun! He is the oldest.

Ava Beth is the strong willed child of the bunch. She is expressive. She is loud. She is funny. She has strong communication skills. Socially she is way ahead! She loves to be seen. She loves to be heard. She loves to hold hands. She loves to snuggle. She is very brave. She is a girly girl to the core but she will also hold a frog. She can hang with the boys and she can lead the girls. She is charming. She is magnetic. She is extremely affectionate. She loves to sing and dance and can't wait to be on the stage for her dance recital. She is my people person for sure! She hates being alone. HATES IT! She loves clothes so much that she changes several times a day. She is nurturing. She loves to help. She pretends to be a mommy all the time. She follows me every where I go. She has a temper. She is bold. She is confrontational and argumentative. She takes a little more work in the behavior area than her older brother does. She is fun! She is the middle child.

Ezekiel is my wild one! He is fearless! He will jump off of anything, climb anything or throw anything. He has AMAZING coordination and can throw a ball harder than I've ever seen a two year old throw. He LOVES sports. He eats anything I put in front of him. He has dimples when he smiles. He is a Mama's boy. He is very energetic. He is not afraid of strangers. He is hilarious! He does not think he's the little brother because he does whatever they do. Being the baby I think he skipped a lot of stuff because he wants to be with brother and sister all the time. He LOVES Barny. He loves shoes, especially flip flops. He loves ball caps. He likes to pray out loud. He is loving. He is a fighter. He can hold his own. He is a rough and tough boy. He follows his big brother everywhere he goes. He says "yes mam" to his sister. I told him he did not have to but she's convinced him he needs to! He is CRAZY about Daddy! He annoys his big sister but she loves him anyway! He is so sweet. He melts me daily. He is the baby.

Today is my 33rd Birthday. I don't have any plans and that bums me out but just thinking about these three incredible gifts from God makes me feel so loved today. They are my life! Josiah saw me crying earlier today. I don't really know why I was crying. I guess I just don't feel like it's my birthday. He said, "Mommy, are you sad on your birthday?" I hated that he caught me crying. The only thing I knew to say was, "A little. I just wish it felt like my birthday." His reply made me cry even more. "Well, I'm about to make you something really cool and you will feel like it's your birthday." A few minutes later he brought me a card he had made. There were three words. Mommy, joy and love. He told me that he loved me and my joy! WOW! That kid blows me away with his love.

My silly expectations got in the way of most of this day. I imagined what happens on other people's birthdays and got a little sad when Ava Beth said, "I'm canceling your birthday because I'm mad at you." Her smart mouth got her into trouble so she was in time out, crying, etc. When I was in the business world working before I had kids, Birthdays were big. You would show up to your desk and it was covered in balloons and streamers. Someone took you out to lunch, flowers were delivered, presents came and around 3pm there was cake in the conference room. Even the people that didn't really like you came in to say Happy Birthday just so they could have a piece of cake! But in a Mom's world, it's business as usual. It's ALL about them and that's okay because they are my gifts!

Thank you Josiah for making me feel so loved on my Birthday. I will always remember this card you gave me when you were six years old on Mommy's 33rd birthday!