Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Why I ditched Facebook

The first time I ditched Facebook, I did it because I felt like it was a distraction. The clean break wasn't for any other reason, but me wanting to clear away things in my life that entangled me. I stayed off for nine months, until my grandmother's funeral when I saw many relatives from other states that I rarely spoke to. All of them were on Facebook. After seeing all of my distant relatives, it made me miss sharing pictures and keeping in contact. After a week of deliberating prayer, I re-activated my account, deleted everyone but family and close friends, and began again. It was a fresh start with healthy boundaries and the past six months on Facebook has been great. But, last week I began to feel conflicted once again.

Here is a list of reasons as to WHY I felt Facebook had to go.

*I often accepted friend requests from people I did not want to have a relationship with. This often meant someone from my past, an old boyfriend, a person who had broken my confidence, a nosey family member, or even people I didn't really know. I accepted because I felt bad for ignoring. May sound like a boundary issues, maybe so. But, if you are honest, you have done the same.

*Unnecessary expectations
Little did I know having four children would cause me to forget to reply to inbox messages, or that I would just not have time to reply to every comment. But, it happened. Well, I began to notice that a few Facebook friends were angry that I did not respond to them or comment on their status or respond to their comments on MY status. They would voice their frustration, post passive aggressive comments referring to me, then they would delete me. This happened twice in a six month period of time. I did not know they had expectations on me. I am not able to reach out to every single person. I am not able to read every single link they feel I would enjoy. It bothered me so much that these people felt hurt by me. I wasn't even aware.

*habitual negative, unhealthy, "too much information" posts by others
Enough said! Facebook can often cause you to dislike those you once liked.

*Posts by others about others. Some people post stuff in code that they know will be seen by the one they are upset with. This isn't healthy.

*the time Facebook takes from me. I am not self controlled enough to not be sucked in by pictures, status updates and comments. I was addicted!!!!!!!!!

*it causes me to struggle in some of my relationships. I see two different pictures sometimes. The picture someone is portraying and then the real life I know they have. for me, this is a stumbling block in relationships.

Recently I had someone tell me something they had heard about one of my children. It was something I had shared on Facebook. Wasn't a negative thing, but the story got mixed up between a friend on Facebook and someone NOT on Facebook. Then it got to one of my family members. It caused me to stumble. I was bothered for a whole day wondering what their conversation was about my family. This has happened a lot.

I've listened to friend after friend share a story with me about Facebook causing an issue for them in a relationship. Usually it centers around a post, often between family members.

*my husband does not like Facebook at all and doesn't agree with me having an account

I am a hard core, conservative, Jesus loving, republican, Texan! I am pro life. I am a sold out believer in Jesus Christ. I am a Fox news watching addict. I am offended easily when it comes to topics concerning abortion and war. I don't have the self control (yet) to keep my comments to myself.

*the consumption of Facebook caused me to feel yucky about people and myself. There are good things about Facebook, but Satan has his hand in social networking in a big way. It's pull on my thoughts and my state of mind wasn't always healthy.

*for me, the bad outweighs the good. I am a mother to four children. I'm tired of wasting my time in something Satan uses to cause problems for just about everyone I know.

*the Holy Spirit revealed to me through prayer and His Word that Facebook was something I needed to say goodbye to for all of those reasons and many more. That reason alone is enough for me. (Hebrews 12)

I am keeping my Shehomeschools twitter account. If you are on twitter, you know that the things I have mentioned above don't happen on twitter. I opened up a twitter account for Homeschooling, and it is a very positive community in my life.

Goodbye Facebook!


Kelly said...

I love you dearly, my friend! One of the MANY things I love is the fact that when the Lord OBEY! End of story. You list great points. Points worthy of a good wrestle! :) LOVE!!!

Kelly said...

Smart girl... I could learn from you. I agree with every point. I agree wholeheartedly with Kelly, that your willingness to listen and obey the Holy Spirit is one of the things I love about you.

Praying about the same thing- and more along the same lines.

Kim said...

Where's the like button???


Already miss seeing your inspiring words and encouragement for those of us in the trenches ... to be honest there really is very little of that on FB and sometimes you don't even realize that it breeds such discontent!

Others have deleted but not shared their hearts. This hits home for me (and I know countless others).

Glad I still know where to find you, your sweet babies and your heart.

Tiffany said...

I agree! And I APPLAUD YOU...BRAVO!!!

You continually inspire me to "unplug" from the world and instead, fill my day with Jesus. How many of us have even cared to check His "status" lately?

You continue to "trail blaze" 'Manda!

I love you!
Tiff ;)

Stacey said...

Wow, those are a lot of reasons and I cannot say that I blame you! The Hebrews 12 and the hubby not approving would do it for me.

Bless you -and yes I am sooooo glad you are staying here on the blog and w/ twitter. :)

Kili @ Live Each Moment said...

I agree with everything you said, all the reasons....I've been struggling with the same...all of it....