Wednesday, July 20, 2011

straight from the hip -continued

My sweet friend, Noel, has something posted on her sidebar that I wish I had on mine. It is the first thing I thought of when someone questioned my heart today in regards to my most recent blog post. Here's what it says!

"This is the slice of my heart, my mind, and my family that I let everyone see. It can be dicey being honest because it requires me to be vulnerable. But it is also cathartic. So, having weighed the risk of vulnerability with the relief of catharsis, I have decided it is worth it. You'll find some of my posts fun, some fierce. If you are put off by my "tone," you have missed my passion. It is the cry of my heart to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. Soli Deo Gloria"

There is one sentence that really explains how I am feeling right now. "If you are put off by my "tone," you have missed my passion." When I write about homeschool, I am passionate. When I write about having more babies, I am passionate. When I write about church, I am passionate. Spend five minutes with me, and you will quickly learn that I am passionate! When I was a marathon runner, I was all in. Remember that season? Remember how obsessed I was with running? I do! It was a passion of mine. Many of you have been reading this little blog for almost six years now, and you have held on during the "seasons". Thank you. Thank you for always trusting my heart, and learning that my tone is nothing but my passion.

I've shared my testimony many times. I have shared my church experiences many times. Most of you know that I come from a pentecostal background. My husband does too. We met in a tongue talking, prophesying, running around the church, chaotic church. I can say it was chaotic because that was why we chose to leave. I believe in the gifts of the spirit, but I believe people are being led by false teachers down a false path. I've been a part of the emergent church as a single adult and as a wife and mother. I have led worship in those churches. I believe those churches also are also guilty of false teaching. I do not believe ALL pentecostal churches are wrong. Nor do I believe it about emergent churches. I have family and friends who attend both. But, I do believe many of those churches (some we have attended) are leading people astray.

I want my family to seek the truth in everything. I want my friends and family to seek truth. I will no longer stand by and allow the BRIDE to be defiled. Many churches today are defiling the Bride of Christ! Prosperity teaching is desecrating the church. The Emergent church is doing the same. So you better believe that I will be ANGRY, PASSIONATE and frustrated with it!

My heart was in question this morning. I am okay with that. I don't have to come to this blog and defend myself or set the record straight. I will NOT apologize for what I wrote. It came 100% from my heart. It came from anger, it came from joy, it came from a desire to share the truth!

Whether or not you believe in pre-destination or free will, it doesn't matter. That is not the crux of the matter. What does matter is whether or not you are being falsely taught! Be a truth seeker. Ask questions! More importantly, read your Bible and wrestle! Wrestle with God, wrestle with the text. It scares me sometimes. It scares me that bad things happen to good people. It is easier to have a relationship with a God that GIVES. It is hard to have a relationship with a God that TAKES AWAY.

R.C. Sproul Jr. ended his post yesterday with this. "It might make you mad. But it will surely make you think."

I pray the Lord can use me to make you think. That's all. No hidden agenda ( I don't have time for that. I don't even have time for this blog. A kid is screaming now!). Thanks for seeing my heart and allowing me to process my journey with you. If you know me, you know that if I get something wrong, I will come back and admit my failures. That's a part of the process!

And if you are interested in reading some of the materials that have helped our family find doctrine we believe in, my sidebar has books listed. Life changing books for us!

8 comments:

Kelly said...

Funny, when I was reflecting on your earlier post, I actually thought those very things about you- that you are a "go big, or stay home" kind of girl. (Me, too, which is why I think I identify with you so often!) I love passion, and know that God created us to be passionate- about Him... and so your desire to share your enthusiasm for what you learn is pleasing to Him, I believe.

I love your willingness to be honest and vulnerable, and never feel that we have to agree on everything, to appreciate your heart for God. I love you as a sister in Christ and see you as a prayer warrior I can trust in without question. Your faith blesses me:-)

While I doubt that I will ever share your reformed theology (unless God shows me something I am missing), that doesn't mean I don't love hearing what you are learning and how your faith is growing. (I'm sure I agree with more of your beliefs than disagree, but there are definitely some sticking points for me with reformed theology). So I hope you will keep on sharing and encouraging.

The thing I love MOST about God is that what we believe is really not the issue. Truth is truth whether we recognize it or not. God is God, our belief system has no bearing on Him or Who He is. He is the Great I am, and that is thrilling to me.

Beyond salvation, issues of doctrine are essentially what we individually believe and put our faith in (i.e. Catholics believe in one doctrine while those who are reformed believe strongly in another, and Arminians another. Someone has to be wrong, right?)Church doctrine is based on scripture, but is ultimately determined by man's interpretation, Calvin, Luther etc... and is therefore fallible. This is where the Holy Spirit comes in to guide us and speak to us, and I think, too often, people are not listening to the Holy Spirit. That's why I love what you share; you honestly and humbly seek God in your life, and that can only encourage others and glorify God.

Sorry for this rambling, disjointed comment! I hope you know I just love you and want to encourage you to keep on being who you are, and being willing to share with others along the way. You definitely are making me think-and I love that! Hugs, sweet friend!

Wendy said...

I love this post and the one from yesterday. You might be one of the most passionate people I have met in a long time (I mean that as a compliment LOL). I see the heart of your words and I know they are meant out of love. I am happy that you and your family are on a high note in your journey and its great to share in your joy :) Keep on being real!

Tiffany said...

Here goes another "Ralphism" (my step dad):

"The TRUTH needs no defense." (ie: needs no video clips, coffee bars, light shows, 45-min. arm twisting on giving, etc). ;)

'Manda,

I am so thankful that the Lord has allowed us to "grow up" in our faith, together. I am also thankful for our past church experiences, because they have given us unique perspectives in our journey, y'know? May HE use our "mosaics" to bring HIM GLORY!!!!

Thank you for wrestling "out loud."

I love you,
Tiff ;)
xoxoxo

Alex said...

I'm so glad you commented on my blog, because now I've found yours! ;) I just want to say that I love what you've written here! Every. Single. Word. God is amazing! Generally, the people I admire most are the ones who speak the Truth, but do it by sharing their heart (with love). Thank you for doing so! =)

Karen said...

Truth hurts!!!! We've heard that so many times that we have become complacent in our lives. We have allowed ourselves to just skip over the things that truly HURT us. I know I do. I have even said "I don't like that part of the Bible". Putting that in writing makes me shutter. I love the Word of God. It is TRUTH in its' purest form.

I agree with you, we need to really be in The Word. We cannot take a "man's" (no gender) word. We have to know it for ourselves. We can only do that by putting ourselves in it.

You are the most passionate person I know. You have said many times that you quite things - start and stop, start and stop. You NEVER stop what you are passionate about. Oh, you have seasons, and guess what? Seasons CHANGE! The Word says we are moved from glory to glory. I believe we cannot obtain "a new level" until we have the one we're on substantially built. We all need foundational teaching. I believe YOU are getting your foundation as God would have you too - YOU read and YOU research everything. You don't allow Jude to have a bite of something you haven't studied and know that it is good for him.

I love your passion and your drive. I love where you are in your life. You have never been as beautiful to me as now. I love your heart and I know the desire of your heart is all around you today. God took ashes and made something beautiful. FAMILY was stolen from you and yet you have the most incredible family now and your family's heart is for GOD.

I love you.
Mom

Jules said...

I love what your Mom said. :) Also, thank you so much for sharing! You encourage me! Always have! I don't know much about your church but I enjoy reading what you share about it. I do know that my husband and I love listening to Voddie Baucham. One of our huge struggles right now is family size. Praying hard about that one! Keep shooting straight from the hip! It's refreshing! :)

Love,
Jules

Kelly said...

Keep speaking TRUTH with PASSION! Your journey has God written ALL over it! Your process and progress bring freedom: to cry out, to question, to search, to wrestle and to rest. Honored to walk daily with you! Love you tons & bunches!

Kelly said...

Just had to stop back and say- you rock. You are always willing to let God lead you. He loves obedience, because He can bless that. No matter what changes, He will always honor our obedience.

(And your verse of the week is the one that keeps showing up everywhere for me the past two days. God is definitely speaking to me about my mouth and words!)