Thursday, March 1, 2012

32 weeks, preparing for homebirth WITHOUT a plan!

Yesterday was my 32 week midwife appointment! Yes, 32 weeks. Week 34 will be my home visit with the midwives. I have done nothing to prepare for this baby. Everyone keeps saying, "Aren't you glad you already have all the clothes?" Well, I don't. Jude was born in November. Israel is coming at the end of April (I pray!). The seasons do not match. I have been gathering some 0-3 month onesies. I have several onesies to sew appliques on and I have the material for his baby blanket. But...there is still a lot left to do.

Having a homebirth requires supplies on hand. My midwives sell a birthing kit, but I have to have towels, sheets, etc. My church friends and neighbors are helping me gather. One of my friend's from church just had a homebirth with my midwives, and is a great resource for helping me figure out what I need! And she has some things she is giving me too! I refuse to buy ten brand new towels for a homebirth! I am so thankful for my friends helping me gather old ones!

A lot of people are asking me things like, "Will you have candles? Music? A Birthing pool?". I am also frequently asked if I have watched births on youtube to prepare me. It is kind of funny. Normally, I am a control freak. But this is something I have zero expectations for. I don't even want to be in control!  Am I nervous? Yes. Am I scared? I am not scared of the pain...yet. I am scared of a possible transport to the hospital.  I do not want a hospital birth. Candles and music? No. I think those things will annoy the crap out of me. A Birthing pool? Yes! I will have one of those. The midwives bring their own and I provide the liner (this is something I order online). Will I have a water birth? I really want to, but I have no idea how I will feel in that moment. I am may get up to go to the bathroom and have the baby there. Who knows! Again, I trust my midwives and trust that my body will do what God made it to do! Am I watching videos? NO. NO. NO and NO. No desire! I don't want ANY expectations. I am not even reading birth stories. I will after, but not now. I want this experience to be completely organic to my family. My midwives tell me that my outlook on this experience is the best one to have.  I hope so! This girl does NOT have a birth plan. It will go how it is supposed to. It's my Calvinist approach to birth! :)

When I ran my first marathon, my friend wanted me to go drive the route so I could see where the hills would be in my 26.2. The Austin marathon is FULL of hills. Hills from hell! I told her, "No. I don't want to be in the middle of mile sixteen and start dreading what's to come. I would rather be surprised and tackle it on approach." Same rule applies for this homebirth!

My friend is going to photograph the birth (modestly). That makes me really excited! She has been away for a family emergency so if she has to leave again, I think I have another friend I can train on MY camera. Yesterday, one of the midwives educated me on delivering the placenta. In the hospital, with an epidural, you really don't even know what is going on after the birth. This time I will! 

There is really nothing I can do to plan. I can have everything ready to go for the midwives arrival and that is it. I have church friends that can show up if need be (they can take the boys) and my Mom may make it in time or she may not. Ava Beth will be here. She really wants to see the baby born and we feel good about that. I would love for it to be in the middle of the night when the kids are asleep, but again, who knows WHAT will happen! Israel's head is down, face down and I am praying he stays that way. I am excited and thrilled that I get to have him at home. This is our sanctuary! What better place?! 

32 weeks and I am feeling great! My energy level is low, but I am hoping I get a "surge" quick. I am starting to really drag my feet and I desperately need a boost to get this house in order. These next few weeks will FLY by and I want to enjoy it! I refuse to let things that don't matter compromise my joy. I had a good "emotional" test this morning and did not let it take me away!  Feels good to not let people or things compromise my joy, especially during a sweet season like this. 

"Just as a woman's heart knows how and when to pump, her lungs to inhale, and her hand to pull back from fire, so she knows when and how to give birth." - Virginia Di Orio

1 comment:

Kelly said...

Great perspective and attitude! What a blessing to be so open to whatever comes, it is sure to be amazing!