By popular request...

I have added my music playlist back to the blog!  Well, I guess I can't say by "popular" request but my blog friend, Tracy , has asked a couple of times for me to add it back. So this is all for you Tracy!! I hope you like it!

It's funny because all the things I have been talking about lately on my blog might lead some to believe that I only listen to "Christian" music. But, I listen to all kinds. Music means so much to me and I love music and lyrics I connect with.  I'm one of those people who may hear a random song in a movie and then search online to find it and then add it to my iPod immediately.

If I were still running like a mad woman, my playlist would probably reflect a much faster pace of music.  But right now I am in a mellow place in life. Growing, learning, reflecting and changing so I think this playlist will reflect this time in my life accurately.  Expect this playlist to change, just as I do. :)

(Here's the deal, If you try to play one of the youtube videos I have posted today, push stop or pause on the playlist so you can listen to the song posted.)

Agnus Dei by Michael W. Smith (our Wedding song)

It was a hot, hot, hot day, much like today. I knew when we set the Wedding date for August 3rd, it would be extremely hot but since the Wedding was indoors, I decided I didn't care. A hot day was the perfect day to get married!

My parents (mom and James) did not live in Dallas at the time so they were staying with their best friends who also happened to be the Pastor marrying us. He had been my pastor since I was a baby girl, he was an easy choice. Since my parents were staying there, I decided to stay with them the night before the wedding. I remember my mom walking into the room where I was sleeping on this morning six years ago today and jumping up on the bed screaming, "You're getting married today! You're getting married today!" Jeremy was at the apartment we had rented and I remember waking up thinking about him, wondering if I would be able to make it all day without talking to him. We made a commitment to not talk or see one another all day, until the moment I walked down the aisle.

So it's the morning of the Wedding and I was dropping off my gown to be steamed and having coffee with a very good friend at Starbucks while we waited on the dress. She picked me up and she was in charge of my entire day. My Mom made me wear this hat/veil thing she made for my bachelorette party. It was fun because I got to wear it twice and boy did I get the attention! All day long, strangers were stopping me and asking about the Wedding. I loved it! After picking up the dress, Amy took me to Las Colinas close to our apartment, for a massage at the spa. The massage was wonderful! On the way to the spa, Amy called Jeremy to check on him and I could hear him through the mobile phone. My heart fluttered, I could not wait to see him! Once the massage was over, we met my family and all of the friends and family that were in town for a big lunch at Cheddar's. I ordered something but I remember not being able to eat because I was too excited. We finished lunch and then Amy took me back to our Pastor's house, where I was staying and I took a bath. I remember forgetting to buy the grape juice for our communion that we would have during our ceremony. So Amy took care of that while I bathed and packed everything up for the church where I would be getting ready. My Mom was frantic! She was busy waiting on the cake to get there and her and my aunt were decorating for the reception. My bridesmaids started arriving and my Dad James brought in an ice chest full of drinks, he brought candy, food, etc. for all of us to snack on. He did the same for the groom's room. Jeremy's Mom gave us tic tacs, orange ones! I had made a cd of music for the Bridal Suite (I still have that cd!) and we had a blast getting ready. Then there was a knock at the door.

It was Timothy, Jeremy's best man, delivering some gifts and cards for me. The cards were hilarious. He said he did not want to give me something that would make me cry! Then there was another card that was romantic!!!!! My Mom delivered some presents to Jeremy, one of them being the lyrics to the song I wrote him. He had no idea what I was going to sing. He knew I had written a song but NO ONE knew the lyrics except my mom, his mom and my friend that had written the actual music. Finally I'm dressed, I see both of my Dads for the first time and they both cried. My Father in law cried too, well he got teary eyed. My brother has never complemented me much but I remember that day he said, "Wow." That meant a lot! After pictures we headed back to the bridal suite and my Aunt Lisa came in and we all prayed together. She also joined my hand with my mother in law's and told the story of Ruth and Naomi. It was amazing. Over in the Groom's Suite, they also had prayer and my Dad and step-Dad held hands during the prayer. That was HUGE!

7:00pm the Wedding began, exactly on time. If you know me, you know I was not about to start a minute late. Jeremy and I are both known for punctuality so it would have been awful to start late! :) Since I am a music person, I planned for a lot of music. It was incredible! While we waited in the hall to walk down, I could hear one of the pastors giving the congregational charge and welcome. I also asked him to present the gospel and He did. There was worship music and everything. We wanted a church service along with a Wedding and we got one. The Wedding was about 45 minutes long, not too bad.

Now it was time for Jeremy to walk in with his groomsmen from the front of the church and then my bridesmaids, the flower girl and ring bearer, then the little boy who rolled out the white carpet for me to walk down. The song you are listening to now is the song we all walked out to, including Jeremy and the groomsmen. When you hear Michael W. Smith first sing the verse (not the boys choir) HOLY, HOLY, YOU ARE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY..., that's when the doors swung open and my Dads walked me in. I cannot even begin to tell you how amazing it was. Not only could I feel such happiness and joy but I could feel the Holy Spirit. The ceremony was anointed and we were so blessed to have such a beautiful moment. I'm so proud of that day. What God did when he brought us together was amazing, miraculous and shocking. A six month courtship from the time we met until the time we married. Only God could have done that! So we wanted to honor him with our Wedding and I think we did. God showed up that day and He has showed up every single day of our marriage.

Thank you Jeremy for being the most incredible husband I could have ever asked for. I love you Babe. Happy Anniversary!

Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.

Song of Solomon 8:6-7

My Best Friend by Tim McGraw

I will never forget the day my Mom and I went shopping for Wedding gowns. It was a magical day! She flew in from Houston (where they used to live) and we headed to Dallas where all the Bridal shops were. What we thought would take hours and hours and possibly days and days, took about ten minutes. I had imagined this day my whole life so I knew in my head the dress I wanted. Strapless, long train, beaded bodice and nothing but tulle on the bottom. As I am searching the racks, I see one and decide to try it on. My Mom found a few others, so the lady helping us, gathered them all together and we headed for the dressing room. Of course I chose to try on the dress I had found first and as soon as I had it on, I knew. When I walked out of the dressing room, my Mom said "Oh Mandi. That's the one." Yep! I tried on ONE dress! Sometimes you just know!

(One of my bridal portraits. My mom was making me laugh!)

If you have read any of my blog posts from my old sites, I have shared a lot about childhood and how God used it to mold and shape who I am today. Things were hard when I was a child, very hard. I never believed I would have a normal life or that I would ever find someone that truly loved me. My youth pastor always told me, "Mandi, God has big plans for you. BIG PLANS!" There have been "old tapes" I play in my head over and over again from when I was a kid, things I wish had never been said to me. But thankfully I play that "old tape" of Larry, my youth pastor, telling me God had big plans for my life. And Larry still tells me that to this day so I believe with all of my heart that the best has yet to come.

Statistics would say that someone like me would never have a chance at marriage, especially being a Mom and if I did do one or both of those things, I would be a huge failure. At times, I do feel like a failure but I think we all do so I try not to dwell too much on those feelings when they come from time to time. Jeremy and I both came from pretty crazy childhoods so the work we put into our relationship is a lot. If you know us, you know we are total opposites. He's quiet, I'm loud. He's shy, I'm not (so not!). He's a country boy, I'm a city girl. He likes Hank Williams Jr., I like Keith Urban. He is obsessed with Discovery Channel, I'm obsessed with Bravo and pretty much ALL reality TV. HE ABHORS REALITY TV! Thank goodness for Tivo! He's a morning person, I am a major night owl! But, we seem to come together on important things like parenting, morals, beliefs, politics and FOOD! Food is pretty important! My country boy taught me how to fish and this city girl taught him how to eat sushi. Actually, sushi is one of our favorite meals. And of course a good steak or Japanese food at a hibachi grill. Oh and Mexican food, how could I forget Mexican food!? We also love to watch the cooking channel. He never complains when I watch cooking shows and I never complain when he watches Bass fishing shows.

Jeremy has always been and always will be the healing balm in my life. Just the other night I sat on the couch next to him while he was laying down, asked him to push pause on the tv so I could tell him about a problem I was having. He listened and then told me exactly what I needed to do and that's exactly what I needed. He's the most stable person I know, so I trust him completely to guide me in the right direction and He always, always tells me to pray about it. God continually uses him to speak to me, love me and teach me. He truly is the healing balm in my life. I've had lots of hurts in life, I was a damaged little girl when he met me. But, he's turned me into a princess. :)

In the song I wrote to him and sang on our Wedding day, there was a line in the chorus that was oh-so-true. "I never thought this dream would come true, but this day I do." That's the truth. I never thought I would stand before a man, in a beautiful wedding gown, and pledge my life to him. I truly felt like it was all a dream and still to this day when I look around at what God has done in my life, I'm in shock. I still can't believe I'm here. I can't believe I broke free from the past and have this life. Now the only thing I have got to work on is feeling like Jeremy is blessed to have me. That's a hard one. :)

Thank you Babe for making my dreams come true. I still think about our wedding day and how incredible it was. We decided we wanted a worship service and boy did we have one! God showed up and it was the most incredible Wedding ceremony ever! We did good. We are still going good and look at these kids! I love you so much and I will never forget the night you told me you loved me. It still gives me chill bumps. You are my best friend and I love you madly. This song truly says everything that I feel. It came out when we were dating and it will always mean so much. Remember those first days dating? They were dreamy! :) And you are still dreamy.

Aint Nothin' About You by Brooks & Dunn

When I met Jeremy, he had only been a Christ follower for about two years and the fire was still burning bright. He had so much joy and was so excited about the change that had taken place in his life since accepting Christ. I've heard him give his testimony once and it is one of the most moving testimonies I have ever heard. Jeremy is the perfect example of his life being totally and completely transformed after being saved. It's one of those stories Jeremy tells and tears come as he speaks. Jeremy is a changed man. I did not know him when he was searching, but I know that I am married to a sold out man that really loves God and people. (The picture above is my favorite picture. Notice his smile. Always smiling! I was not there that day. I did not know him yet but he was so excited the change God had made in his life.)

I will never forget the very first Bible Study I went to at his apartment. He was one of the leaders and I had only met him once before that night. Towards the end, people in the group began to share prayer requests, except for one person. This person, an older lady, decided to share the great things God was doing in her life and then she began to thank Jeremy for helping her out earlier in the week. "Jeremy put a new fence in my backyard, he worked on my car and did so many other things to help me." I had already walked into the Bible Study that night with a huge crush based on his looks but then I hear this lady saying all of these things about him and I find out he is leading a Bible Study and I see how clean and nice his apartment is. So after I hear all of those things about him during the study, I begin to talk to God in my head. Jeremy had a smile on his face the entire night and if you meet him today, you will see he is a smiler. He is almost always wearing a smile. The more smiling I see and the more comments I hear about him, the more I begin to plead with God. "Lord, I know you brought me to this church. But there is no way I can be here and not be distracted by this guy. If he does not like me and if does not end up being the one for me, there better be someone else much better come along because he is who I want." I've told this story before in past blog posts so many of you have heard this before. But that is truly how it went down. I knew there was no way I could go to that church or that bible study and not be distracted by Jeremy. Thankfully, we began dating almost instantly. :) Two and a half months later we were engaged and three and a half months after that, we were married. THANK YOU LORD FOR MOVING FAST!

There are many great things about my husband, many. But the thing I love about him the most is how secure he is in himself. He could care less what people think, he never gossips and if I do, he hates it. He is not competitive with other guys, he's secure with his body. He could care less about fashion, although I think I've got him into a little more than he is willing to admit. He will work harder, stay longer and do more than anyone else. His work ethic is absolutely over the top. He will go and go and go and go and go and serve and serve and serve and serve. I NEVER hear him say anything bad about anyone. He's also the most non-judgmental Christian I know.

The other thing I absolutely love and think is very attractive is that he can fix a car, a boat, an appliance, a fence, a lawn mower, an earring, a necklace, a toy, anything that is broken, he can fix. He can saw, hammer, nail, build and do anything with his hands. I love it that his hands are rough. He's got blisters and callouses on his hands and I am so thankful because I know I am in love with someone that is not afraid to work, not afraid to serve and not afraid to go the extra mile. He gets up early, comes home late, works most Saturdays and still finds time to change diapers, fold laundry and help me. Wow. I love him so much. Just writing this makes me a feel convicted in some areas where I truly need to serve him.

Six years ago today, I was a twenty-five year old girl about to get married! It was a Tuesday morning and the Wedding was on a Friday night. I went into work to finish up a few things and left at lunchtime for the rest of the week and did not return until two weeks later, after the honeymoon. My Mom drove in from Houston and the Wedding week had officially begun! It was such an incredible week and each day was filled with celebration. So this week, through my blog, I am trying to celebrate my husband, my marriage and the incredible story of how God brought us together.

Thanks for reading my mushy stories!

(This song was playing one night while we were dating. We were driving down the road in his F150 Truck and this song came on. It had just came out on the radio and they played it constantly. As he was driving, he looked over at me and started singing it to me. He's not a singer so it was very cute and of course made me gush! I will never forget this song and I could even tell you the exact place we were on the highway. Euless, Texas coming from 183, getting on to 360 by the airport. I'll never forget! Brooks and Dunn is one of his favorites and mine too.)

Because You Love Me by Jo Dee Messina

When I think about the things I have put Jeremy through, I am amazed that he is still beside me. I was a twenty five year old girl that was not capable of receiving love until he broke through and taught me that he would love me no matter what. During our short courtship, I did everything I could to run him off . I did not think it was possible to have someone like him in my life. He wasn't perfect but I didn't know it at the time. When I met him, I was going through beauty school. I had just quit a good paying corporate job to chase a dream and I had no money. As soon as we began dating, he began to take care of me. He did not want me to work but concentrate only on school. So, he paid my car payment, my insurance and any other bills I had. He truly took care of me in every way possible from the very beginning.

I will never forget driving to beauty school one day and crying because I was so afraid of loosing him. It was a moment I will never forget because it was a moment I knew I heard from the Lord. The Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, "He's not on loan like a pair of jewels. He's not someone in your life for just the time being. It's not another dating relationship that will end. This is the person I have brought to love you and bring healing to your life like you never experienced before." As soon as I got to school, I wrote all of that down and just a few days ago I read it. Now, six years later, three children later, He is still by my side and I am so blessed.

My life growing up was so hard and I lived in constant fear. Nothing was secure, nothing was stable. But Jeremy came into my life and brought hope and healing. God used him to restore me in more ways than I could ever write about. He truly is and always will be my healing balm. I love him so much it hurts. I think about him constantly. Sure, I get mad at him and sometimes I get REALLY mad. Our relationship takes work and sometimes a lot of work, but he is my best friend.

Because He loved me, I have found a whole new Amanda. I wrote a song and sang it to him at our Wedding. I was not sure if it was going to work out so I had this song as a plan B. My song worked so I did not sing it but, I would still like to sing it to him someday. Because He loved me, I was able to learn how to love myself and that's why this song means a lot.

Thank you Lord for Jeremy. You have used Him to bring healing to my life. I can feel you loving me through him. Please show me and teach me how to serve and love him more.

Again by Lenny Kravitz

Well, Friday the 3rd of August will be our six year Wedding Anniversary! Today I have been thinking about our Wedding and our dating relationship, etc. Our wedding was beautiful, nothing about it would I change. LOVED EVERY PART OF IT! So this morning at church I thought about our dating relationship a lot. I met Jeremy at church and I remember when I saw him I thought he was soooooooo good looking and I thought there was no chance he would go out with me. I always thought I would have to settle on the looks with whoever I married. Sounds weird but you would have to know my past boyfriends. Cute, but nothing like Jeremy! :) I seemed to have dated guys with good personalities but Jeremy had everything I wanted. I've shared this before but I remember the very first time I met him and the fact that my Mom was with me. He was sitting in the pew behind us and she leaned over and said, "I don't know if he has a girlfriend, but you need to go out with HIM! He is CUTE!" (Isn't that what you said Mom?) Little did I know, we would be dating by the end of the week!

Anyway, we dropped off all three kids in the nursery this morning. He checked in the boys, I checked in the girl. I got done first and waited for him at the end of the hall. When I saw him walking down the hall, I thought "Dang! He looks GOOD this morning!" Then during church he was holding my hand and giving me the eye! I love it when he flirts with me. It's nice when your husband flirts, isn't it?

So, this week in honor of our anniversary, I'm blogging about Jeremy. Marriage can be challenging at times, especially when you have three babies in six years. But, this week I really want to focus on what a blessing He is to me and how much he has changed my life. This song playing is a very special song. It was the hottest song on the radio when we were dating and when I met Jeremy, I had just purchased the cd. We love Lenny Kravitz and this song was played at our reception when we were announced walking in as husband and wife. I can still remember renting a movie from Blockbuster when we first started dating and listening to this song in the car. I had butterflies that entire night. All of my life, where have you been...

I love you Babe.

This song is for you.