My Dad

For years and years I have craved a healthy, functioning relationship with my Dad. When I was a little girl, I was a daddy's girl like most of us. I remember him calling me his little buddy. He would let me stay up late with him and watch movies while my Mom and little brother slept. My love for the night time hours came from my Dad, no doubt. Unfortunately there was a pretty long season in his life when things got bad and he became an alcoholic and very depressed. Needless to say, it was a tragic event in my life and I could not depend on him in anymore for a father/daughter relationship. Instead, he depended on me. My parents divorced and I chose to live with him and it was by far the most painful season of all. Being a twelve year old girl living with an alcoholic father was devastating because I was not able to be a kid, I had to grow up instantly.

Through many years of healing and restoration, I have the best relationship with my Dad that I have ever had. He has not drank a sip of alcohol in almost ten years! One day he cried out to God for help and quit that very day and has never gone back, never. I am so proud of him for that because most people with alcoholism struggle for the rest of their lives but I believe He was healed instantly! All those nights in my closet crying out for my Dad, it paid off. God answered MY prayers!

I hear from my Dad every single day. It's still very hard that he no longer lives down the road from me like he did back in Dallas. I miss him coming over to watch the kids. I miss him going to Wal Mart with me. I miss him coming over for dinners and praising my cooking. I miss watching movies with him and this football season will not be the same without watching all the Cowboy games with him! Oh sure, he drove me crazy and we got on each other's nerves often but it didn't really matter. He's my Dad.

I've never lived far from my Dad, never. I've always been down the road or a few cities away but never this far away. My Dad never remarried like my Mom did so he never had a spouse to give all of his attention to. Instead, it went to me and my brother. Then when I got married, his attention went to me and Jeremy and then it went to my kids. I truly believe that he thinks about us all the time and does not get through one day without talking about us to someone on the Golf Course, where he works.

Last week, my brother's wife was here for a couple of days and we had a couple of opportunities to sit out on the back porch and talk. Her and my brother live by my Dad so they see him often. She said that he talks about us NON-STOP. She said, "He is so proud of you Mandi." I don't think she understood how much that meant to me. I've always needed that from my Dad but he was not able to give that to me.

He knew last Sunday that I was singing. He called me just about every other day of last week to say, "I'm praying for you. You will do great. Are you nervous?" And I am pretty sure he has told all of his friends that I could be the next American Idol (that's what Dads do, embellish!) and every time he talks they are probably tired of hearing about me and my kids! Last Saturday night, he called to wish me luck and then Sunday about thirty minutes after church was over, my mobile phone rang. It was my Dad. "Well, did they love you?" He could not wait to find out how it went but I was in the middle of a lunch with our Church Plant team and could not talk so I told him I would call him back but I forgot. A few hours later, he called again to ask how it went.

My Dad is happy, for the first time in his life, he's truly happy. I prayed for so long and at times I wondered if God would ever answer that prayer of, "Please let my Dad be happy." But, today my Dad is happy. He loves his job at the Golf Course, he has friends, he has community in his life. And me? Well, I have a Dad that I truly love and adore and need.