"GOD FIRST"

Word of warning. You may totally 100% disagree with me and find great offense with what I am about to type. By now you should know that I am not blogging to make everyone else happy. There are blogs I do not read because I don't feel a sense of "like-mindedness" with the blog author. We have left churches because we are no longer able to support the views or thoughts of leadership. I do not watch CNN because I do not agree with the views of the network. In life you will come across all types of people, churches or situations you can't support, so you part ways. It's just part of life. So I urge all of you blog readers to not read this blog if it makes you angry. Let's part ways. Go somewhere else. Don't bash me among your friends and gossip about me, just quit reading. Better yet, blog on your own blog and once and for all, quit reading because you will NOT like what I have to say. You know you won't agree, don't read. Or stick around and be mad.

The other day I heard someone say, "We are in a culture full of Christians who don't know Christ." When I heard it, I sat there for a second to take it all in. It was right on! How are we different from the world? In fact, it seems that this new culture of believers thinks that is the answer. Don't be different! Be like them! Join them! If you don't, people will be scared off. And that to me is a lie from Satan!

About three weeks ago I was looking at some one's page on facebook that had not been made private. This person is married to someone who has a well-known status. Very well known. In the profile it listed this person's interests. "Passionately in love with Jesus, in love with the Bible. Love to teach God's word." And so on and so on. Inspiring? Yes. Then it listed the favorite tv shows. "Sex In the City (edited version), Grey's Anatomy...." And so on and so on. Instantly I thought of my own life as someone who leads worship for my church about once a month. I'm in the public eye. I am in leadership. My inventory of tv shows was long and Grey's Anatomy was one of them. How dare I judge this person when I am just as guilty. Guilty? Guilty of what some of you may wonder? Well, I will get to that in a minute.

The description of "Sex in the City", edited version, made me laugh. Okay, it's on a regular channel instead of HBO. There is no cursing or nudity so it must be totally fine. It's justified. I realize not everyone lives by the same sort of convictions but this one stuck out at me. So back to the word I used. GUILTY. You know Satan is so sneaky. He is found some pretty incredible ways to break into our homes and have his way. As believers we say we are against adultery, homosexuality and immoral living. But our DVR is set to record most of the tv shows that endorse such behavior. We would never live like those we watch on tv but there is nothing wrong with watching it. Right? Isn't that what people think? Sneaky Satan. So sneaky. He finds ways to slowly make us numb. Slowly we accept this new way our culture lives. Sneaky, tricky, deceiving Satan.

Now if you call yourself a Christ Follower and do not believe homosexuality is a sin, well that's interesting because God's Word is CLEAR on the subject, but this would not apply to you. A follower of Christ believes God's Word. 100%. Not just some of it or parts of it. ALL OF IT. I mean, what are we doing? How on earth can you know God's Word and not feel conviction over the lifestyle you are living? I am not talking about new Christians. I am talking about those of us who know what God's Word says and choose to live differently. We lead Bible Studies, we are wives of pastor's, worship leaders and children's teachers in our churches. But we brag about the tv shows we watch. We compare notes on them. We call each other to talk about "Meredith and Derek". Seriously?

Now if you have no conviction over what you spend your time doing, fine. I don't share mine to present myself as holier than thou by any means but I do share in attempt to show others what God is doing in my life and what He may want to do in yours, IF you are willing to listen and walk the road of being totally and radically transformed.

After reading that person's page on facebook, I instantly went to my DVR and deleted General Hospital (something I've watched since High School), Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice and Brothers and Sisters. It's actually not too difficult to give up when you hear some of the stars from each show bashing the conservative side.

So just because we don't agree with two men kissing on tv, we watch it anyway? Is that how desensitized we have become? Oh wait, let me guess, you fast forward that part. Right? In the past I have gone through seasons of conviction but later jumped back on my tv obsession. But this time, I truly have no desire. I cannot stand what Hollywood stands for any longer. I WILL NOT GIVE MY MONEY TO THEM OR MY TIME. Sure there are a few who stand up for morals and truth but those usually don't speak up or you will never see them again! What director would hire a believer or a conservative?! I wish more of them would speak up!

I don't see a lot of women around who are challenging or showing me something I would like to follow. It's been a long time since I've been inspired to become more holy by noticing other Godly women. It seems like everyone has just given in. I'm mad. Righteously angry that Satan has come in and stolen so many Godly women's convictions, including my own. This doesn't mean we HATE homosexuals or anyone else. But isn't it okay to NOT approve of some one's lifestyle and not support it? YES.

A few months ago I stepped away from my leadership role and now only occasionally lead. Yes it was for my family and to focus more on being a mom. But it was also because I felt like God wanted to do some work in me and have me search him out without the influence of anyone else. It's hard. It's lonely. People think I've gone off the deep end. Some may think after reading this that I won't be fun to hang out with anymore. But if you know me, truly know me, you know God is going to use me to reach all sorts of people and i will always be fun. Just because I am chasing after Jesus and cutting crap out of my life does not mean I will be silenced and lose my influence. God WILL use me. And if you think I am a Jesus Freak, legalistic maniac, well, you got one part right. I am a Jesus freak! If that looks legalistic to you, well I will just trust God to show you how wrong you are.

If you spend time in God's word, you will probably get convicted. If you chase Him, the chase will be exciting and life changing. You can't run after him without feeling some strain. Right now, I am running after him and I feel the strain. The strain of change. I remember when I was in High School and my family would make fun of me for being a "prude". My step-sister used to laugh at me regarding my "virgin" status and views. I stood for what I thought was truth and I was bold. I've missed that girl. I've missed her confidence.

Well, she's back. I'm not going to be silenced anymore. If the TRUTH offends people, oh well. We need GODLY WOMEN. We need women who are going to stand up and truly make a difference in women's lives. Palin says their letterhead in the White House won't change from what the campaign signs say, "COUNTRY FIRST". Well, my letterhead was changed long ago and I'm changing it back to "GOD FIRST". And the scoffers and hecklers on the back row of my life, well, I am done worrying about you.

Return to Him and He will return to you! (Zechariah)

Zephaniah 2
A Call to Repentance
1 Gather together—yes, gather together, you shameless nation.2 Gather before judgment begins, before your time to repent is blown away like chaff. Act now, before the fierce fury of the Lord falls and the terrible day of the Lord’s anger begins. 3 Seek the Lord, all who are humble, and follow his commands. Seek to do what is right and to live humbly. Perhaps even yet the Lord will protect you— protect you from his anger on that day of destruction.