rehearsal

I get more worked up about band practice than I do the actual service. There are many reasons why but I think the main one is that is when I figure out how the transitions will go. Did I choose a set that musically makes sense? The cool thing is, last night turned out to be the best transitions and flow of things I could ever hope for. Why? Because God did it!!! For days last week I sat at my desk and looked through all the songs and couldn't find one song that felt right. I download songs on iTunes and thought I had found one or two that would work but then later while on a run, I didn't feel good about it. I sent emails to the band that said, "Hope to have your set list to you by this afternoon but it could be in the morning." They probably think it's because I don't have time to work on it (which is sometimes the case) but this time I could not get a peace about which way to go.

By NO means do I share this process with all of you to make you think I always get it right when I lead. I don't. I try. But I have failed and songs have not worked or I have not been in the right frame of mind when I put the set together. OR I recycle songs to make it easy on a new musician or because of something else. But this past week I really felt like God wanted my full attention and thankfully I was in a place where I could hear Him speak.

This week I had no choice. I had to hear Him. I needed Him desperately because the week has been rough. Monday I found out I didn't have a bass player and a whole bunch of other mess came about. I had a personal attack come my way. My leadership was attacked and some other hurtful things flew my way. I sat at my desk and cried like a baby. By Tuesday morning I had a bass player confirmed and all the other loose ends came together. But Tuesday afternoon, I wanted to run away. I even prayed that something would happen where they didn't want me to lead or someone else was asked or I got the flu! I was confused, extremely hurt by some individuals and wanted to quit. When I shared my pain with a family member, they took offense for me based on the attacks I was facing and urged me to let this be my last time of leading. NOT WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR. Later in the day that person came back and said, "No, you are supposed to lead and this is why this is happening. Satan does not want you there at all and He will use people, God's people, to bring you down. Just realize it's an attack and move on." Easier said than done but I did.

Finally yesterday afternoon, peace fell all over me. I did not care about anything that had happened earlier in the week. The only thing I cared about was WORSHIP.

Rehearsal came and rehearsal was awesome. We are doing some cool stuff musically and trying some new things with dynamics in the songs. I am really praying that the band and their instruments will be something this week that God uses to connect those to Him. It's not just about the voices or who is leading, the music can totally speak on it's own. Last night was one of those nights when I was totally amazed at what God was doing.

And one more thing God showed me to do yesterday was pray for every single person who was there last night. I got to run in the daylight yesterday, thanks to my new babysitter and it rocked because it was just me and God before I had to get ready for practice. As I ran I asked God to show me how to pray for each band member, sound guy, PowerPoint guy and lighting guy and girl vocalist (so glad I had another girl last night and it was not just me). The cool thing was, as I prayed for each and everyone of them, I felt connected to them last night. Then the coolest thing happened. Satan threw another fiery dart at me right as I walked in the doors of the church (not something I can share). I was troubled. I was shaken. Instantly I felt defeated but again I knew what the enemy was trying to do. Right when I got to the stage, our incredible fifteen year old drummer, walked up to me and hugged me and said, "How are you? I wanted to give you a hug." Wow! God is awesome! And I prayed for that kid just an hour before that hug. Maybe I need to tell Him how God used Him to encourage me because it was a hug that truly came from heaven.

My voice is hoarse today and my throat hurts but I will press on and look forward to God showing up on Sunday!