4 things God showed me in BOLD letters on the marathon!

This past weekend has been one of the most memorable moments in my life. My wedding day and the births of all three children are number one of course. The marathon ranks pretty high too! I am not sure where it all began for me. Yes, I know I started with a 5k, then a 10k and then a half marathon. But a lot of people train for those events and never fully fall in love with running. For me, I fell in love. Passionately in love with every aspect of it. I think God had this planned for me ever since the day I was born because it feels like a gift. Not only do I enjoy the actual race day but I love, love, love, love the training.

I have learned so much about who I am and even who others are as I have hit the ground running. It's been the thing that has taught me what I'm made of and it's helped me find answers and peace to so many of life's annoyances.

I have friend who is also a marathoner and you would never know it because she never talks about running. She doesn't blog about it or gush over every single training run. That's how she is about most everything in her life. She keeps it in and saves it for those in her close circle. I am the exact opposite. I tell the world! Why?

Well, running has become a VICTORY for me. As silly as it sounds, it's much like every single time I bake a batch of cupcakes. The odds were against me. The odds and statistics would say that someone who grew up the way I did, someone who did not feel loved or know how to love, would never be able to be a healthy wife or mom, especially not a disciplined athlete. So I am sure I sound like a "bragger" to a lot of people when I post pictures of the things I do.

But on the marathon God showed me many things about myself and how He has made me. There were 4 things! My excitement, my constant gushing over the small things and big things in life means something very significant. And here was the 1st thing he showed me on the race. It's me staring the devil straight in the face and saying "Look what God did with me! YOU LOST!". I have permission to gush. Too many incredible things in my life and too many victories I have experienced to not. I will gush!!! I will gush with pride!

The day began at 3:19am. I got four hours of sleep and my alarm was set for 3:45 (2 alarms to be safe). But the excitement pumping through my veins would not allow me to sleep very long so wide awake I was before the alarm ever had the chance to go off! My stuff was already set out from the night before. Fuel belts ready, water bottles cold, accelerade mixed in the other bottles, gels, my lucky penny Josiah gave me taped inside my pack, recovery drink mixed and ready for Jeremy to bring in an ice chest and so on! Training will turn you into a pretty crazy OCD type of person. You don't change anything on a long run and on race day you use everything you used in training. Nothing new!! The same goes for the breakfast. One cup of coffee, CLIF Bar, banana and one large SMART Water. Oh and nothing past 5:30am! I picked Heidi up at 4:45am and we were off!

Not only was I going to be on the course with Heidi but also my friend Jen. Jen and I went to High School together and also were in the same youth group. We recently reconnected through facebook and have become pretty inseparable via texting and facebook. She lives in Washington state and her and her husband flew in for the marathon they both would be running. Jen has done TWO FULL Ironmans and her husband is probably one of the most incredible athletes I've ever met. I forget how many Ironmans he has done, not to mention he has run BOSTON! For the past two months I have been getting the most incredible training tips ever from both of them! Me, Jen and Heidi lined up in the thousands of people and prayed. It was incredible!

Mile 6 was really cool! You cross a bridge and then see a HUGE crowd of people lining a curve after you cross. That's when I saw Jeremy and my Dad. The crowd was amazing!!! After that I needed to fill my water bottles so I unscrewed the tops and learned at that water stop how to refill without stopping. Then it was bathroom time! Jen (6 time marathoner) told us to try to go to the bathroom before mile 10 because after mile 10 you really start feeling the toll and stopping for the bathroom and then running again HURTS. And that is so true! Something I learned on the 20 miler! Hills give you pain you don't normally have. It messes with your knees and legs in a whole new way. FOR SURE! The bathrooms in a box (that's what i call them) are lined up all over the course, probably every single mile but they are always accompanied by LONG lines. No thanks! So like many other runners, Heidi and I found some bushes around mile 7. This will sound crazy to a lot of you but you are literally squatting with ten other women around you and NO ONE cares. In fact, Heidi saw her son's music teacher. Nothing like getting to know one another on the course! I am so glad I stopped. This would be my ONLY time to go to the bathroom. I constantly drank water on the course but it heated up fast and my body began to sweat like crazy.

The gels, the gel cola shots, the salt pills and the couple of hot tamales AND the orange slices home owners passed out in the neighborhoods were perfect. I always felt hydrated and well nourished on the course. I have Heidi to thank for teaching me how to be hydrate and eat (the gels) on the course. I continued to see my Dad and Jeremy about every 5-6 miles and they were amazing!!! My Dad was videoing me, gushing with joy and pride. Jeremy was awesome! My Dad said he could look at his watch and know exactly when he would see me based on the last mile marker. My Dad though that was so cool! Mile 17 is when my legs began to feel MAJOR pain. The ankle never hurt. Not even once! But my behind my knee along the outside of my leg, probably IT Band, began to give me lots of problems. My Dad has me on video yelling "Pray for my legs!". I had suffered the pain on the 20 miler so I knew what I had to do. KEEP RUNNING. Stopping would make it worse. Walking would make it impossible to get going again. The pain did not scare me until mile 19.

I had two goals going into the marathon. Many warned me about setting a time goal for the first but I know me and I know I get bored if I don't challenge myself in some way. 1st goal was to come under 5 hours. I did not care if that meant 4:59. I wanted under 5 but also knew that if I did not come under 5, i would still be excited and proud so it was kind of a loose goal. My 2nd goal was to NOT WALK. You see TONS of people walking and let me say there is NOTHING wrong with walking. But walking was something I did in cross country back in junior high when I hated running so much that I walked and the coaches would yell at me. So before I did my first 5k, I decided right then that I would never walk in a race. Don't get me wrong! There were people walking the hills faster than I was running the hills in the middle of the race. For me, I didn't want to walk no matter what. I would hobble before I would walk.

During the race I was totally inspired by the crowd and the volunteers. Your name is on your bib so the crowd is constantly yelling your name. It was obviously a good day for me to run a marathon because I smiled, I talked, I cheered for other runners and I thanked the water people constantly. I LOVED the community I felt out there. When I saw other runners struggling, even in the midst of my struggles, I patted them on the back and said "You are doing awesome." One girl said, "WHO ME?" And I said "Yes, you!" I saw her on my way back to the car after the race and she thanked me for my support. That still makes me cry just thinking about it! And that's when God showed me #2 in Bold letters. "Mandi, you are not selfish. I know someone pinned that on you a long time ago. They told you that you only thought about yourself. But people need you on their team. You make them feel like they can do anything! You help them go the extra mile!" Now here's the deal people. How many of us actually think something so awesome about ourselves? Not me! That's how I knew it was from the Holy Spirit! I will never forget that girl I cheered on. A white running skirt, a white top and beautiful olive skin with brown hair and a ponytail. She was struggling but she did it!

Oh and the lady at mile 17 that stood on the side of the road screaming "You are out of the double digits runners! You only have a single digit to run now!" I wish I could find that lady because that was a powerful moment for me!

Eventually Heidi and I were separated around mile 12 I think. But one thing she said I kept thinking about over and over and OVER again was "I want to be able to say that I left it all out there on the course." I knew exactly what she meant and mile 19 when I hit THE WALL, I had to focus on her words. I did not hit the wall in the 20 miler training run so going into the Marathon I was VERY nervous about what THE WALL looked and felt like. My friend Jen kept telling me that it's different for everyone. I thought it would come at 21 but it came early. I had just seen Bret, Heidi's husband, and he was cheering for me when he saw me. Instantly I began to cry and my legs felt like led. I looked at him and said "It hurts. It hurts so bad." He told me I was okay (and he would know because last weekend he ran a 100 mile Ultra) and to keep going that it would pass. The pain was intense but more than the pain was my mind began to feel bored. I wanted to scream! I thought how can I mentally stay strong for 7 more miles? I just remember thanking God out loud over and over again. "Thank you Lord. Thank you Lord. Thank you Jesus. Thank you for running." Could people hear me? Of course but they had their own battles going on. It was the only thing I knew to do so I did it. Suddenly CASTING CROWNS, The Voice of Truth (their only song I like) came on and I heard God say "Listen." As I type this blog, I have had to stop just thinking about this moment. I sit here with tears rolling down my face. WOW! There have been so many giants in my life reminding me of all the times I tried before and FAILED! "You will never win Mandi, never!" And then suddenly I am running with my hands facing up to heaven and I hear "BUT THE VOICE OF TRUTH TELLS ME A DIFFERENT STORY! THE VOICE OF TRUTH SAYS DO NOT BE AFRAID! I WILL CHOOSE TO LISTEN AND BELIEVE THE VOICE OF TRUTH." I look down at my GARMIN and I see mile 19.68 and loud and clear, in bold letters, I hear #3. "There is nothing you can't do. The pain is gone. Run. You have experienced the worst. From here on out, you RUN without fear. You are FREE! You no longer have to be afraid." The wall was gone!

And that is something I will never forget. I was changed right then and there. Something happened and I will never be the same. I have stood before the giants with just a sling and a stone and I WON!!!

Mile 22 I think was when we got back to the downtown area. It was the most incredible feeling because you knew you were getting close to home. I could feel something physically change in me. When you know you are almost done, you are able to face the pain because you KNOW it's almost over. Afterwards, my Dad told me that it was like a horse on it's way back to the barn. You couldn't do anything to stop that horse. The horse knows. It can smell the finish. I knew there were two more good hills to come but I was no longer afraid. I was envisioning the finish line. I kept thinking about the women running the Marathon at the Olympics last Summer and the commentator saying "They still have three miles to go but because they can see the Olympic arena, the finish, their entire body you will see change. They will dig deeper than they ever have. They will finish." And even though I am not an Olympic runner, I felt what they felt. Just much slower! :)

Mile 22 I began to play a game in my head. "Okay, the guy in the red shorts, pass him! Okay now pass that girl in the blue shirt. Okay now run fast. Okay pass those three people up there by the light." It was amazing that my mind was able to do this. It was ALL mind and NOT my body. My body was DONE. It was done a few miles ago but the mind is soooooooooooo powerful!!

Mile 23 I knew I would make it under 5 hours so I began to try to make it with some time to spare. I thought "4.55 would be cool!" So I began to run faster. I wanted to be done! I was happy. I was energized. I was excited!

And then it happened! I saw "1,000 meters to go" and I began to SPRINT like I have never sprinted in my life. I did not think it would be possible to sprint at the end but it was! Then I saw 500 meters, 200 and then I'm in the victory shoot and people are screaming louder than you can imagine and I see the clock and I hear my Dad yelling "GO MANDI!!!" and right as I cross I hear the announcer say "Amanda _____"! Hearing your name as you cross the finish line is unbelievable. I thought I was going to cry but because I had ACCIDENTALLY peed all over myself (this story will be saved for another day) I was frantically looking for the Mylar blanket to cover myself! Instead I found Jeremy and demanded his jacket to tie around my waist! I was greeted with some old friends from church (that meant a lot) and Jen and Mike and my Dad and Jeremy. My medal was on me as soon as I finished. They put that thing around your neck instantly!

Official time was 4:55:15!!!! Very proud of that!

As I am waiting to meet up with everyone, Jen brings me a gift. A charm necklace with a sterling silver shoe that said 26.2 and another charm with a girl runner. It was incredible!!!! And then I heard #4 in bold letters, "I'm s0 proud of you my child. I love you more than you can possible imagine. Thank you for worhsipping me today. I love you."

This was the day I heard Jesus singing over ME. I will never forget it!!!!

26.2 was a true gift from God. I left a lot of things on the course and I will never be the same! Marathon #2 will be here in October. I cannot wait until June when training season begins again!
Thank you God for running! Thank you!!!! And thank you to my friends and family for ALL of the support! I TRULY know who you are now. WOW!

If you want to hear VOICE OF TRUTH, go here.

(I will have a slideshow of pictures soon. I am still waiting to get them all from friends. Oh and there is ONE thing I will do different at the Chicago marathon. I will wear black shorts because if you accidentally pee on yourself while you sprint to the finish, you won't be able to tell in black shorts!)