Wednesday, January 12, 2011


I look forward to blogging again but right now it is so hard. It will have to be done late at night or on the weekend when Jeremy is home. But I wanted to take a quick moment and share that God is doing an amazing work in my life right now. I am diving into his word and seeing so many things around me that He is setting me free from. The one thing I know by now is that growth often makes those around you very uncomfortable. So if you are in the midst of growth, expect backlash! 

Recently He has had me on this path of reaching out to others who have hurt me. Reaching out to those who have rejected me or reaching out to those who have deeply hurt me. As I have done this, the results have not been what I had hoped for. You see I thought that if I was obedient to the Holy Spirit that HE would cause the other person to admit their wrongs and seek my forgiveness too. It has NOT happened. Maybe a little but it has been kind of a blanket apology or just no response at all. If I allow it, it will mess up my whole day but I have to go back to what the Holy Spirit called me to do. Reconcile. If others choose not to reconcile, it is NOT mine to own. I had to realize that the reason God wanted me to go to these individuals was not so I would feel better. Maybe it was so I could see how he felt. Maybe it was for me to understand that rejection is not something I have to live under. Maybe it was to teach me that "going first" is GRACE and as a believer in Jesus Christ it is what I am always called to do.

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32

I don't know about you but I want real change in my life. I don't want to just talk about it. I don't want my words to be empty. I want true victory in those areas that seem to be in constant conflict with the Word of God. I seem to be like many people in this world. We make commitments, new years resolutions on how we are going to be different or how we are going to be healthy and then we fall over and over again. That's the war! I saw a quote the other day that said "If you are on a path that doesn't have any obstacles, it probably leads to nowhere." So as I set out to experience true change in my life, in my parenting, in my marriage and in all other relationships, I EXPECT war. Will I choose to give up and not go through the hard stuff? Will I allow my attitude and "feelings" to take over? Probably. And that is why the WORD of God is so important. It is the only thing that will break the bondage of old mindsets. It's the only thing that will change my thinking. The WORD is my only hope.

43 “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. 44 Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. 45 Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.” Matthew 12:43-45

I struggle over and over again and I fall back into old patterns because I do not occupy it with the word of God. Jeremy and I experienced some incredible breakthroughs in our marriage last year and over the last couple of months it has been hard. We have fallen back into old patterns and lately I have asked my best friends "What the heck happened? Did we not really have victory?". Well, that's life and that's what happens when you are sleep deprived! We have to keep working the process and keep renewing our minds with the word of God or it returns like Matthew 12 describes. 

I have to get back to the school table with the kids and I can't finish this right now but know that you are not alone in struggles. I pray that you will dig into HIS WORD and be set free again. If you have messed up, start again. Every single day is brand new! That's is an incredible gift God has given us!

Pursue peace with EVERYTHING you've got!

Hebrews 12:14 (The Message)

 14-17Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you'll never get so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God's generosity. Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time. Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God's lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. You well know how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God's blessing—but by then it was too late, tears or no tears.


Kelly said...

You know this speaks to me.

Thank you (AGAIN!) for sharing what God is teaching you, it always speaks to me as well, and builds me up.

I am so grateful for you!

Kate said...

beautiful! just beautiful.
so thankful for a new day - every day!! :)
praying for you...

Anonymous said...

This was good to hear today. I recently tried to reconnect with someone I had a falling out with. It was ignored. It stung and not what I was hoping for. I'm still glad I tried. Thanks for sharing your heart.

Anonymous said...

I needed to be reminded of this today. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Way to be a doer of the Word and not just a hearer!!!(James1)

Christy said...

I come back over and over to read your blog. I am sorry for the things I have said to you. Please forgive me. This spoke VOLUMES to me.

Amanda- Texas Girl born and raised! said...

Yes, Kelly that is HARD! I totally went through the same thing. The hardest thing was going to them and trying to reconcile when I don't feel I did anything wrong. Actually, I felt like they were. So it was a big pride check for me!!!