Peace

Five years ago when I first began researching Homeschool, I heard many moms says things like "we are done by noon" or "just takes a few hours." Those comments remained with me for a few years into my own Homeschooling journey. I am a divide and conquer type of gal. Give me a list so I can check it off as I go. Give me a goal and I will not only meet the goal, but usually I will over do it and beat the deadline. I DO NOT share that with you to brag. Truly it has become quite the curse of my personality. I'm a deadline maker, a clock watcher, a "get it done" type of person.

With the birth of my fourth child came a new part of me I didn't know existed. A mentor in my life once told me that with each child, God teaches us something new. Our children often work out the kinks in us. Thankfully, I am all for big families because I have a lot of kinks needing to be worked out. Amen? Amen! From the moment I became pregnant with Jude, I felt peace. I truly believe that when God breathed life into that boy, inside my womb, He also breathed peace into me. People don't get under my skin like they used to. I don't lay in bed at night troubled over what someone said about me. I walk away from bad situations. I don't agonize over them. I really enjoy each and every day. I am recognizing the fleeting moments in this life and enjoying the moments when we are stuck at home doing nothing. I've slowed down. I've embraced this season and the more I embrace, the more I fall in love with these little ones in my life.

Jude worked out a major kink in me. Perfectionism. The perfectionism caused me to live so much of my life as if I were running a race. I felt accomplished just by "getting it done". So when Homeschool took more than three hours, I felt like I had failed. Finishing up later was never acceptable. Because of that, the standards I had placed on myself were also placed on my children. Thankfully as the Holy Spirit began to breathe peace into me (something that came from reading His Word and praying), I began to lose the need to be the best or finish first.

Now when I sit down at the school table, I no longer approach it as something that should be done by noon. Viewing it from that perspective set us ALL up for failure. When I sit down at the table and view it as something that may take all day long, I relax, I laugh, I enjoy. I connect. And you better believe my students do too!

This morning I told myself I would view the day like a kindergartner. My Ava Beth has no concept of time. She doesn't rush through things. She lives every single moment of her day and that's what I want to do. This is a glorious life God has given me. I have peace in my marriage, peace in my relationships, peace in my family. Doesn't my Homeschool deserve the same? Sure there are moments or days when trials come or Conflict comes my way, but I don't lose my peace.

My husband and I have recently decided to follow a year round Homeschool schedule and one of the "goals"(you know I had to set a few)I set for myself was to approach the school table each day with ease. If I can't sit down and teach with ease, I don't need to be teaching. We will not rush. We will enjoy these fleeting moments and if that means all we do is color or paint, then beautiful pictures we will make.

This week our memory verse is John 15:5 and what a perfect verse it is for this season of gardening. I am thankful for the Gardner who constantly prunes my stubborn branches so that I may produce more fruit. Perfectionism had to go. Peace had to come.

What about you? What needs pruning?